Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Wednesday Weigh In

Today is going to be the start of consistent "Weekly Weigh-in" posts in an effort to stay more accountable and provide support to others who are needing it! So without further adieu...

 This is also the weekly weigh in picture for the current challenge I am in called "Last Loser Standing." It started 2 weeks ago and included somewhere around 400 ladies. The object of it is to continue to lose weight and essentially try to be the "Last loser standing" at the end of it, and winner gets a Fitbit Ultra. Still in it, even after Christmas lunch! I did NOT eat as well as I should have this past week. Lots of sweets and carbs. Ugh. I also only got to run 1 time over the past week because of sickness, Shelby working, gym closing early for Christmas Eve. Weird thing though....I still lost weight. I think it has something to do with some bloating that was going on :( Whatever it is...I'll take it, but I know that if I want to keep up the losing, my eating needs to return to what it was. Double boo!

Also gearing up to start the Fitathlon at the Wellness Center. Time to start brushing up on my swimming and biking skills! Next week(I believe) is the weigh in for the Wellness Center's "Maintaining through the Holidays" challenge. We weighed in the first week of November and had a $5 buy in. After our last weigh in, those who either maintained or lost weight will be entered into a drawing to win the pot. As of right now I have lost several pounds since then, but it will all come down to my weight at the end of the day on that particular day as my weight fluctuates a few pounds during the day. Fingers crossed!

Even better news...I'm 1 lb away from 40 lost. Woo-freaking-hoo! Progression pictures to come when that happens...which I'm hoping may be tomorrow or Friday...depending on the amount of water I suck down today from my spiffy new water bottle!(Thanks Jamie! :))

Christmas was a nice relaxing day for us. Just my parents, brother and his family, my sister, and my daughter and I. Shelby had to work Christmas eve and Christmas night so he slept through the day. We spent the day opening presents, watching my nephew and Lenae play with their new toys, eating, and the best part was watching old home videos. Laughing at each other's crazy hair, botched song lyrics, and wondering how our parents had enough patience to not leave us at the nearest bus stop and drive away. I never realized how annoying I was as a child! Sorry guys!! Oh and my daughter was INCREDIBLY spoiled by my parents and her Aunt & Uncle. Lots of princess stuff, Minnie Mouse, clothes, and all the Baby Doll furniture she could ever want. Her room looked absolutely nothing like this when we left the house yesterday morning. Its the biggest room in the house and I think she needs a bigger one now!

 My most favorite present of the day was my Gym Membership. I knew I would be getting 6 months to the local gym, but when I opened the envelope to look at it I was surprised to see "12 month membership" on the line. My time spent on the treadmill, weights, and pool are not going unnoticed. :) I can't wait to get back out there tonight and get some more miles on these new shoes!

I hope Christmas found everyone else Happy, Healthy, and Warm! Pin It

Monday, December 17, 2012

Let's start thinking a little bit more...

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and warn you....this one will be way off the normal topic today. In the spirit of today's post, I have thought and thought and thought about how I wanted to say this. I have gone through many emotions with the topic of this post ranging from anger, sadness, being proud, truly worried, and in the end motivated. So here goes nothing...

What will my New Year's Resolution be this upcoming January? It will not be to spend more time in the gym, to eat healthier, to give up pop, or to stop nagging my husband about insignificant things(sorry Shelby!). It will be to simply "Think before I SPEAK"  This is bolded, underlined, and italicized for a reason. It is important. It is vital in today's society. It's something that I think we are seriously lacking in, especially with the surge of social media popularity. Now I will be the first to admit that I have "posted" or said things that I clearly have not truly thought about in the past, and I regret that. I have definitely been better about that recently, with the constant thought in the back of my mind, "I run a business. A business where I care for children and where I would like the parents of those children that I care for, to respect me"

So, while I may not agree with some of President Obama's policies or beliefs, I will not attack him as a person. Because as of this past weekend, we were all so strongly reminded that he is a Father first and above all. I may not agree with Verizon Wireless' policies or procedures, but I will not speak negatively to the operator on the other end of the line. They have no say in those policies, they are merely the messengers and intermediaries. I may not agree with the prices of some clothing or products in a store, but definitely will not downgrade the sales associate as she did not come up with that price.(This comes from years of experience in retail, and tooooo many times of being yelled at because something was too expensive). My husband and I have quabbles(shocker!). We do not agree on everything. But does that mean I need to post every single bit of those fights for the public to see? No. Because 9.5 times out of 10, those issues are resolved in a matter of hours in private. But if they are seen by the public, permanent damage can be done.

Here's where I will challenge you. Do you think that you would be able to start "Thinking before you speak?" Maybe it could be about what you post on Social Media, how you react to something that upsets you in public, or how you describe your distaste about a person while in the presence of your child.

I'm going to offer a little piece of knowledge that every student who passes through the doors of Hoeflin Stonehouse in Manhattan, KS(An early childhood lab school) learns. "Do not speak about children in public, or even when you think you are in private. But if you do, choose your words carefully. You never know if an aunt, uncle, grandparents, or parent of that child is sitting at the table behind you, in line at the grocery store in front of you, or someone you come into regular contact with unknowingly. It could hurt that person, even when you are not intending to"

That speaks volumes doesn't it? I think this can be applied to most everyone or everything in this world today. How would you react if you walk up behind someone to hear them denouncing you, your husband, or even worse, your child? How does it make you feel to have your job performance discussed publicly where everyone can see it, without your knowledge first? How would it feel to be yelled and publicly humiliated for filing a piece of paper in the correct file, because that is what your job description entails? I'm willing to bet that your answer to each one of those questions went something like "Well I would be upset. That's not fair"

Do you know what I, and so many other women(and men too) have to deal with? While standing in line at the gas station I frequently hear "That **** officer gave me a ticket. Who the **** does he think he is?" "Cops aren't real people, they're ***holes" There are constantly rumors that are spread, in an attempt to discredit or humiliate those who are not guilty of what is being said. Or seeing things posted where an Officer is denounced for doing their jobs. People are so quick to rely on Officers in times of need, vehicle assistance, or in worst cases, complete terror. I sit at home most nights and wonder if it's the night my husband will be responding to a dangerous call to help an innocent person, and in turn leave a little girl without a Father. I fullt understand that this is his job. But do you know what else is in their job description? Upholding traffic laws. Investigating theft. Taking accident reports. Patrolling. I have been stopped a few times. I have received 2 tickets in my 9 years of driving. The first one I wasn't happy about. I was angry at the officer. The second one, which came about 2 years ago? I understood. I clearly was above the speed limit, I was clearly breaking the law. I was not happy about it, but was not upset with the officer. I was upset with myself.

I get that there is usually a need to deflect personal responsibility and blame your faults on others. I have done this one too many times to count. But with how the world is today, maybe it wouldn't hurt to start accepting responsibility for our actions, choosing our hurtful words more carefully, reaching out to those who may need a little more care or love. We keep hearing of all of these senseless acts of violence taking place, and I can't help but wonder what more could have been done to help that man who ran into that Elementary School and felt the unconscionable need to take innocent lives. I can't help but wonder how that man in Topeka who killed 2 men doing their job, may have been raised to not respect the law or people upholding the law. I understand that people have free will. Some people grow up to do things that they were not directly raised to believe in. But why not try harder? Why not think about the message we are sending our children, our neighbor's children, or the impressionable young teenager who is listening in on your lunchtime conversation? Instead of them hearing "Stupid pig gave me a ticket for speeding in a school zone", how about letting them hear "You know, I deserved that ticket. It has deterred me from speeding there again, and potentially hurting a child who is riding their bike to school" Or instead of publicly posting "**** Obama. I bet his kids don't have to eat this kind of crap"(where mind you, there are children that now have Facebook), either don't say anything at all or opt for "I am considering writing and calling my representative to discuss my concerns over the recent piece of legislation" Let them see you conduct yourselves in a respectable manner.

Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. 

-Tome Krause

I would much rather my child grow up to respect Law Enforcement Officers, the Mayor, the Governor, and the President, than to blame everyone else for the laws she could potentially break. I want her to grow up to be a productive member of society who has total respect for laws that are set in place to protect people, property, and animals. I want her to think before she makes a comment about a friend who is wearing the same thing 2 days in a row. I want her to think before she responds to hearing someone publicly insulting her father. Most of all, right now I am grateful that she cannot fully comprehend the things that I hear while she is in my presence.

So please, if you do nothing else for your Resolution, do this.

I will leave you with this as to pay tribute to Cpl. Goigan, and Officer Atherly.

"The Final Inspection"

The policeman stood and faced his God, Which must always come to pass. 
He hoped his shoes were shining. Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, policeman. How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek? To My church have you been true?"

The policeman squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't, Because those of us who carry badges
can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays, and at times my talk was rough,
and sometimes I've been violent, Because the streets are awfully tough.

But I never took a penny, That wasn't mine to keep....
Though I worked a lot of overtime When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help, Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place Among the people here.
They never wanted me around Except to calm their fear.

If you've a place for me here, Lord, It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much, But if you don't.....I'll understand.

There was silence all around the throne Where the saints had often trod.
As the policeman waited quietly, For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, policeman, You've borne your burdens well.
Come walk a beat on Heaven's streets, You've done your time in hell."

Author Unknown
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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Oh Christmas time, Stomach Flu, and Weigh in Wednesday

I am finding out how hard it really is to keep up the gym routine during the Christmas parties, family gatherings, sickness, and just general end of the year busy stuff! I came down with the full on stomach flu yesterday morning while getting ready for work. And then several more times after that. It seemed to be on it's way out the door around Lunch time. Woke up this morning feeling like nothing ever happened. So we shall see if it stays that way tonight when I give the treadmill another shot.

It has been since last Thursday that I have gotten my quality time at the gym :( Total sadface. I fully intended on going Saturday morning, but after the marathon of Duck Dynasty and the 1 bottle of Moscato on Friday night, that wasn't happening. Saturday night was Shelby's work Christmas party...and well...let's just say I felt even worse on Sunday. So here we are on Wednesday and I need to quit with the excuses! I WILL run tonight, I WILL lift weights tonight, I WILL drink all my 80 ounces of water! Bad news...there is another Christmas party this weekend...
Just kidding...hopefully...

The Wellness Center is putting on a "Fitathlon" from January-March. The goals are to swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run 26.2 miles. Now let's be honest...swimming is something I downright suck at am not that strong in. So maybe this will give me the push I need to try it out and it's something new that breaks up the monotony of workouts!

And just because I am SUPER excited about my new Christmas presents, I'm going to brag a little bit more :) Can't WAIT to try out these bad girls! I have heard and heard how amazing Brooks shoes are...and will finally get the opportunity to try them. I also opted to have the other half of my present be 6 months paid at the Wellness Center. It will go to much better use than anything else I would have wanted!!

And here's a little gem for you on Weigh in Wednesday! Down another 3 lbs. That is now officially 6 lbs from Pre-Lenae weight and 2 lbs from 40 gone!! It's becoming more and more real with each shirt, pair of jeans, and workout pants that have become too big. I'm having serious issues while I run now because I am constantly having to pull my pants back up. Guess it's time for the next size down!(and yes I know, I need to repaint my nails :))

When I get that 40 lbs I will do some more progression pics!! I'm excited to see the change!

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Friday, November 30, 2012

Now let's get caught up....'s been awhile since I have dumped my thoughts onto the computer screen. Maybe that's why I've been such a lunatic jumbled mess lately :) So here we go...I have LOTS of info to catch you up on!

Yes, this is the wonderful ONEDERland! I have hit it and am not going back. It was one of the prouder moments I have accomplished in my life. I would throw it in the ranks of graduating college, getting married, opening my own daycare business, etc.(Nothing can ever come close to having my daughter though!) If you have ever been over the 2 number...then you know how much you dream of that day. It is not a day that I want to throw away in one emotional eating binge. Not. Worth. It. And those socks...yes I know they don't match. Fun Fact: I never match my socks...unless it's a formal occasion and dress socks are needed, then it pains me. Only 9 more lbs to go before I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight(which I am still in no way proud of!)

The last time that I posted, I had just lost 30 lbs. Well since then, I have lost 5 more to put my grand whopping total at 35(I did the math for those of you whose brains have been fried by the long week. You're welcome :)). I was able to maintain over Thanksgiving by cutting my normal Thanksgiving portions in half and drinking a ton of water. It really wasn't as difficult as I thought that it would be! Especially since my Bread Machine decided to crap out on me the night before and didn't warm the dough, which in turn did not activate the yeast, which ultimately led to hard...only edible if you heat them up first rolls. Those are my one put mine or my mom's Dinner Rolls in front of me and I have no control.

I think I also finally found a routine that keeps my energy up and recent knee pain subsided during my runs. I'll share my secret(which is common sense really) I take 3 Ibuprofen 2 hours before and then eat a Clif bar 15 minutes before. I have done this twice now, which both led to awesome 3 mile runs that felt effortless. I also need to give credit to my friends Michael Jackson, Fort Minor, Maroon 5, and Nicki Minaj. I think ultimately I need to invest in another pair of shoes because the ones that I have are getting worn out. I have a second pair of Asics but my feet fit a little weird in them so they remain strictly as everyday outside shoes.

Here's a whopper for mom and I have now brought the idea of doing a Half Marathon onto the table. I want that 13.1 sticker for my car. Like really bad. I also know that in order to keep trucking along on this journey, I need some sort of goal...or ends to an mean. So a race(I hate to call them that because the only person I compete against is myself) is what we will do! So if you know of any around the Kansas or neighboring states for September/Octoberish next year, we're all ears! This means I am also looking at different training programs to use that get me to my goal, but aren't so intense that you would have to run a bajillion times a week. I need to usually cap it at 3-4 times a week or I feel like I'm skipping out on my daughter and husband. I have narrowed it down to a couple of plans that look terrifying attainable.

I have started doing what's called "Carb Cycling." Chris Powell was on the Dr. Oz show explaining how it works. Now I'm not doing it completely hardcore by the book right now. Just instituting basic principles and trying to ease into it. I have learned that through this journey of mine that if I just jump into something and go full speed at first...I end up crashing hard. So slow and stead wins the race for me! It works along the basic principle that you always need to keep your metabolism guessing. If you restrict what you eat to 1200 calories a day, every day, your body and your metabolism soon becomes accustomed to that. Sure in the beginning you may lose a bunch, but then you end up plateauing and have to find other means. With this, you alternate doing low carb days and high carb days. On a low carb day you would have an egg a slice of whole grain wheat toast and a slice of tomato for breakfast, snack would be celery and pb, lunch would be boiled chicken  breast and salad, afternoon snack would be a protein shake, and dinner would be something like steak, chicken, or tilapia and veggies. A high carb day would be the same breakfast or something else like oatmeal, snack would be yogurt with granola cereal in it, lunch would be deli turkey and cheese wrapped in a tortilla and some sort of veggies, snack would be a banana and dinner could be something along the lines of marinara sauce over chicken and pasta. You do that for a cycle of six days and then the last day is your "Cheat day" where you basically can eat whatever you want, as long as you don't go over 2500 or so calories. I feel that it also helps me to not feel so worn down and tired when I try to eliminate carbs several days in a row. Carbs give the body the energy it needs to perform physical activities. I need that energy...therefore I think this is the perfect approach for me!

If you want to learn more and do your own research into it here is a link I really encourage you to look through it and give it a try! I haven't bought the book but will eventually when I decide to fully implement the eating plans. Like I have said before, I hesitate to use the word diet or fall into something that seems like a fad, but this is more of a basic way of eating healthy and giving the body the energy and nutrients it needs.

One last thing...I think that I am being given signs at my weakest eating moments. When I was making the Dinner Rolls for Thanksgiving I kept thinking about how bad I wanted one and was going to have one right when they came out of the oven. Well...we all know what happened there. I was so mad I took 1 bite and threw the rest of it away. And then just the other night, I was CRAVING anything Red Velvet. I mean this is a once in a month kind of craving that only women can understand. All I wanted was one flipping bite and my husband could have the rest of whatever it was. It didn't help that we were at the store and I see it. Red Velvet Cream Cheese Roll. Made from the bakery. I pulled it out of that freezer so fast and stuck it in my cart that I didn't have time to talk myself out of it. We got home, I took my one bite, and it was flipping freezer burnt. Disgusting. Almost got sick. All I could think was "Well played God, well played."

Totally overloaded yet? well then here's a gem for daughter is a living Potato Head. She couldn't care less if there were no actual potato bodies in the kit, she will have her fun with the accessories.

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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

30 Days Shred results...a little late.

Here they are...

Proof is in the pudding!

Give it a try!
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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

30 pounds of specialness

Why is today...November 6th, 2012 special to me? Not because today is the day that we find out who the President for the next 4 years is. It is because since this date...I have lost 30 pounds. I'm giving myself a big fat smiley face sticker for this one. Sure...every pound before this milestone has been special to me. I have fought for every single one. Which is why 30 of them collectively is such a big deal. So here is a letter to those 30 pounds.

Dear 30 Pounds of selfish/self inflicted/emotion filled fat,

You have been vacated from this premisis. I do NOT want you anymore. I have put up with you for 2 years too long and am no longer willing to be your host. I have been blind, naive, ignorant, and at times even passive with your residing here. But like any old houseguest that has outworn their welcome, you just needed to leave. Because of you, I was becoming a bitter, unfriendly, and just generally unhappy person to be around. I didn't want to be around why would anyone else? You caused health problems, cost us money for hospital stays and medicine, and cost me time off work. You caused many fights in my marriage, limited the activities that I felt comfortable doing, and instead of playing outside with my daughter, I chose to sit inside on the couch with you. How is that fair? Why did you get to dictate my life, when you were just a temporary resident? Well I can assure you, you no longer have that control over me.

You may have noticed that I have been spending less time on the couch with you. I have been taking less frequent sugar and salt filled trips to the fridge and pantry with you. I have traded off 6 of my Diet Cokes and replaced them with 1 gallon of water daily...sorry about that. I'm not. Instead of all of the fried foods, double helpings, and endless sugar filled snacks, I have been using protein, vitamin rich veggies, water, and limited portions of chocolate and cheat foods to get rid of you. Slowly but surely it has worked. I have been noticing your presence less and less over the past few months.

I KNOW that you have not been a fan of the Wellness Center or Jillian, or even running outside. I can hear you whining and screaming and trying to cause pain to make me stop. Sorry...wasn't giving that up, just to help your stay longer. I didn't like it to start out with either...but if it got me closer to getting rid of you...I was all for it. I have even started to crave it. Suck to be you, huh? You almost got me a few times though, but then I would suddenly remember how annoying you can be and got my butt off the couch and got moving.

I'm starting to think that you were unpleasant to others too, because now people are starting to notice me more. Before, I was getting the ugly stares and sometimes just plain being ignored. Now people smile a lot more. They even compliment me...something that I never got when you were around. So if other people notice that you were unpleasant to me, that's saying something, huh?!

So in closing, this is me, giving you what will be your only warning. Leave and do not come back. I'm serious. If I have to pull the "My husband is a Cop and you will be arrested if you set foot on this property again" card, I will do it. If I have to post signs I will. I don't care. For me this is a matter of life and death, so if I have to take it to the fullest extent, I will. I reside here, not you. You started this journey with me...but you will not end it with me.

I would say it's been nice knowing you,(this is my "mess with me and I'm not going to be nice anymore" side) but it has not. I don't like you. I hope I have made that clear. I will NOT miss you. I will soon be vacating your other 30 pounds of friend also. Maybe soon, they can keep you company where you end up. Peace out.

Joelle...the 30 pound less version :)

There it ungrateful goodbye to a part of me that I never want to see anymore. I am vowing to stay active, eat decent, and continue to lose the pounds that have so painfully crept up on me. I can not stress how much fun this has not been. It has been nothing but hard work, sweat, tears, feeling hungry, and getting back on the saddle after a few bad days. It's about not giving up, it's about finding that drive somewhere deep inside of you that knows you can do this. You have to work through all of the doubt, physical pain, emotional pain, excuses, and the plain comfort of life that you were used to, for it to work.You can't expect to stay the same person when you decide to do this. I am not the same person that occupied this body 7-8 months ago. I am a happier, healthier version. I am not yet the person that I want to be, physically or emotionally, but it is coming. I know that. I am okay with that. I just hope everyone that knows and cares about me, knows that too. I have had nothing but support from my parents, family members, friends, and my husband. And even strangers, that have no agenda with supporting me, other than just sheer niceness.

If you are struggling to want to start your own journey, but don't know how, First and foremost you need a support base. Find someone. Anyone that will tell you what you need to hear. Not what you want to hear. But can tell you in a way that does not put you down, or further the issues at hand. have to find it within yourself. If you don't want to do won't. It's that simple. That is the difference between the me now and the me for the past few years. I haven't wanted it bad enough. When you finally feel that, it will click.

And I leave you with the 30 lb progression(sorry about the scratches in the mirror...but you still get the point of it!)

 5 lbs lost

15lbs lost

22 lbs lost

 30 lbs lost

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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday...and some other stuff

Today is the first day of weigh ins for The Holiday Challenge I am currently involved in. Up until now I have not made my weight public on my blog. I have decided it's time. Quick sidenote before to everyone...

 While I still do not like the number that stares back at me, it is better than the number 28 lbs ago! I have to be honest with you and myself at the same here it is. My full disclosure....................

I don't want to do it....

But here it is......

Yuck. Okay, again, I reiterate that I am in NO WAY proud of that number. I am in NO WAY happy about how I have let myself get to this number. (That word is how we keep ourselves honest. I give my team a word of the week on Tuesday, and the word must be in the picture they send me Wednesday morning!) Up until now, no one has known my true weight besides my Dr's office and myself. I want you to know how much posting this pains me. I was a whole Buck 25 in high school. I never ever in my wildest dreams thought I could let myself go this much. I was 189 when I got pregnant with my daughter, so I can't blame it all on my pregnancy. What I can blame it on is the emotional eating, comfort in my relationship(not having to impress anymore), and just plain not caring what I put in my mouth. I had a serious wake up call when I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes around my 26th week of pregnancy. I really really learned what foods I should and should not be eating, portion controls, and listening to my body when it tells me I need protein, not sugar, for energy. I did really well at keeping my Blood Sugar down through walking and eating right for the remainder of my pregnancy. I had to still take insulin though, because they were concerned she was still gaining weight too rapidly.

After she was born, I was back to eating crap as the diabetes left my system. In the back of my mind I knew that I had a higher chance of developing Type 2 diabetes, but didn't care enough. I was tired, I had a newborn. Snacks, pop, and take out were the easiest options especially when my husbands was gone on nightshift. After tons of headaches, several bouts of high blood pressure, a couple of scares, and a hospitalization, I was done. It was time to get healthy. You know the rest.

A few positives about this weight...
I have not seen this number since around October or November of 2010.
I have lost 28 lbs to date
I am 2 lbs away from 30 gone
It is a far cry from where I was 6 months ago.

So I will continue to forge on. Look for a special post when I hit that 30 lbs. Progression pictures, a letter to those 30 lbs, and how I plan to lose many, many more!

On another note...I want to say Hi to all of my new followers!! There are lots of you that are new to here and don't know me personally, but I rely on them just as much as I think they rely on me. So in an effort to get to know me are a few things about me...

1. I am a mommy to a beautiful and fiery almost 2 year old. She keeps us on our toes constantly. And I love every single minute.

2. I am a wife to a police officer. He went to school to work in construction, and did for several years. But in an effort to move back to our hometown and provide for me and our future children who would need insurance and job security, he chose to go this route. I do not envy his job and am proud of the Officer he has become. Sure his job is hard on him, me, and our daughter. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like and sometimes he works ungodly hours. We know he could get called out on a moments notice, or that we have to cancel plans we made because something happened and he has to stay for hours past shift change. But I know that what he does matters, that the people he helps really need it, and that while we are his top priority, sometimes we do need to come in second. I am okay with that.

3. I am a daycare provider to some pretty awesome kiddos! And get to spend every day watching my own daughter grow up.

4. Running is my therapy. Lifting weights is my anger management.

5. I come from a VERY large extended family. My mom has 7 siblings, and my dad had 4. So needless to say I have lots of cousins! I have always had built in friends and love my family dearly!

6. My mom has become my best friend through this journey. She has always been there for me, regardless of things I have said or done. If I can be the kind of mother that she was to us, to my own daughter, I will count it as a success. She is also the Best Nana to Lenae. She spoils her rotten and loves her like she's her own. And my dad is, and always will be my Super Hero! He will work from sun up, past sun down and not complain. On his time off he does stuff around the yard, takes care of maintenance issues at the daycare, he's my car mechanic, and my bug killer. He is an amazing Papa to Lenae, and she loves him more than words. And I appreciate everything he does.

7. I have an older brother, 27, and a younger sister, 17. My brother and I had the typical sibling relationship. What I haven't ever told him is that I look up to him very much so and am very proud of the life he has made for himself, and how great of a daddy he is to my nephew. He married a pretty awesome girl too! My sister has been my little tag-along since she was born(I say that with nothing but love Jordyn! :)) I spent every summer hanging out with her and taking her to the pool when she was younger. I cherish those days. She now returns the favor and hangs out with Lenae all the time so that I can go workout or do things I need to do.

8. I am a homebody. When I'm not at the daycare or running, I like to be at home. Either my home or my parents home. I enjoy the time spent cuddling with my daughter and the low amount of drama that is involved. Don't get me wrong...I love to hang out with friends every now and then...because everyone needs that. And when you can find good friends that are just interested in getting to know you and as a bonus, have kids too, you make time! But all in all...when faced with the choice of going out to the bar or staying in and watching a Locked Up marathon? Show me some prison brawls!

Again...thanks for taking the time to read about my life and my struggles with weight!

Here's what we've been fighting at our house the past 2 days. Fever and sore throat...breaks my heart to be away from her.

Happy Wednesday

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Friday, October 19, 2012

Things that have changed...

“Those who have no time for healthy eating will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” – Edward Stanley

I have been considering recently about all of the things that have changed in my way of thinking since starting this healthy(er) lifestyle.(Notice how I did not say "Since dieting") It is a HUGE difference in how my mind worked before. Here are some examples...

At the Grocery store:

Instead of loading up on Little Debbie Snacks or remember those Personal Ice Creams I talked about? I instead found myself searching the store for Rice Cakes last night. No...I didn't find them, but I still managed to stay away from the Snackies. Instead, I remembered my Low Calorie "Ice Cream Sandwiches" that I made the night before, and decided if I had a sweet tooth, that one of those would suffice. (Those "sandwiches" are 1/2 container of Light Cool Whip mixed with either Fat Free Sugar Free Vanilla or Chocolate Instant pudding. Put a spoonful between the squares of graham crackers and freeze. Yummy snack for right around 100 calories!)

I used to have popcorn covered with butter at LEAST 3 -4 times a week. It would give me horrible stomach aches the day after, but I never cared. Now...I completely avoid that section of the store altogether so that I 1.)Don't eat that heartattack in a bowl anymore and 2.) So that I can avoid a stomachache that affects my run the next day. 2 years ago I would have laughed if someone would have told me that last one.

Instead of grabbing the regular hamburger, patio steaks, and pork chops from the meat department, I scoured the section for lean meats. Last nights choice was Sirloin Steaks(that I cut up and added peppers to for fajitas...without the tortilla! No added Carbs!) I also threw in 2 servings of Tilapia. Excited to try it! For the longest time I have only eaten "muddy water" fish, so it will be something new!

And finally, instead of the normal plain Wheat Bread, I bought myself a loaf of Whole Grain Sara Lee Bread, for those times that I just need a darn ham sandwich or piece of toast. At least it will be the healthier option!

A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.” – Paul Dudley White

At the gym:

The 2 previous times I have payed for memberships, I went an average of 3 or 4 times and stopped. This time, I am now going on month 4 of going at least 3-4 times a week. I am getting my money's worth and then some!

While at the gym I would always do the bare minimum before. I would think "Oh 10 minutes on the Elliptical? I worked hard! That's enough for today!" Well sometimes, for some people, that may be all that they need. Not this girl...not even close. Now I will do close to 45 minutes on the treadmill which between my warm up walk and cool down walk will usually get me 3.5 miles. After that, I will then go and lift weights. Big difference

When lifting, I would do the least amount of weight that I thought I could get away with before. Now? I want results. I will do the max amount that I know that my body can handle, and do 3 sets of 12-15 reps each. No excuses.

At the Daycare:

I would eat EVERYTHING in sight. Made extra breakfast? Gone. 2 Chicken Quesadillas left? Yes please! And on top of that...I would then make myself more for lunch after the kids went down. It was horrible! I would chug pop after pop after pop, stuff my face during nap time. It's actually a wonder I didn't gain 10 lbs/week. Yuck. Now...I chug bottle of water after bottle of water. I try not to make too much extra of lunch so that I will not be tempted. I keep a bag of frozen chicken here so that for lunch I will just boil one and eat it with some veggies. AND I do 30 Day Shred while the kids go down for a nap.

At home:

Honestly, I try to stay away from home as much as possible. When I am at home, I eat. So this requires me to go to the gym, take Lenae over to see Nana and Papa, or find errands to run. I try to wait until at least 7 or 7:30 to go home(Yes I do feed my child before leaving, or if she stays home with her dad or grandparents they feed her). Staying away for that long leaves me just enough time to eat supper before I need to start the bath/bed time routine for Lenae. I will have a quick "Ice Cream Sandwich" to satisfy my sweet tooth, and then call it a night.

I wait to have my 1 allowed Diet Coke until supper time. I know, this is crazy because of the Caffiene at night. Sue me. At least I have gotten down to just 1 a day! For some reason...I'm not willing yet to give up that one vice.

I feel bad for Shelby because as they say "When Momma's on a is everyone else!" It reminds me of that commercial where the 2 kids are worried because they see their mom with her earphones in and doing her "aerobics", so now they know they will all have to eat healthy too. Well for a little while he will have to fend for himself, until I can find some good healthy recipes that he will eat too. Sorry Dear!

Lastly....On Pinterest:

In my past life I would pin every Cheesy, Creamy, or Sugary recipe there was. I would make a couple of them...and yes they were AMAZING. Yesterday, I caught myself glancing at one wondering "Good many calories are in that?!" It literally clogged my arteries just looking at it. Instead, I have been in search of good healthy meals that also include Lean Meat. Am I going to go completely 100% clean eating? Uhhhh...NO.  There's no way I could ever physically, mentally, or taste buddedly(I just made that up to make it flow with the sentence) do it. I would feel deprived and about a week into it would give up completely.

I'm not really certain that there was a definite reason, or point to why these thoughts started to take over my mindset. The only thing I can think of is that I believe that it has to do with the "Waterfall Effect." One healthy choice one day....could lead to 2 the next day...and so on. I started out this journey by making the choice to start running, and because I wanted to have energy and feel good when I ran, I slowly began to want to eat right. I would replace one meal of crap with Lean Meat and veggies. I cut out 1, then 2, then 3 pops from my normal 4 a day. So while I am not 100% Healthy...I would say this new way of thinking has put me at a comfortable 75%. I can live with that. Trust me, I still and will make unhealthy eating choices, I have bad days, I have days where I am so physically and mentally exhausted that I know it would actually be unhealthy for me to go run. I am just taking this one day, one pound, one workout at a time. That is what has helped me keep my motivation and not get burned out.

"If you don't take care of yourself, the undertaker will overtake that responsibility for you" - Carrie Latet

Some other happenings...I was able to cut my BP med Dosage in half!! Holla!! I WILL be off of them in the future...mark my words. I am also down another LB...making it 3 more before I hit the 30 lb marker! And thanks to Jillian, I am down another inch in my waist and hips. She's tough...but Lord does she know what she's talking about.

And at the end of every single day...all that really ever matters to me is that I get to come home to this
And all is right in the world.
P.S. After proof reading this...I realized just how disgusting and piggyish my eating habits were. I am appalled. That is not an easy thing to admit to.... Pin It

Monday, October 15, 2012

Halfway through 30 Day Shred---Seeing Results!

So as I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been Jillian's victim subject, for 15 days now. It has not been fun, it has not been easy. What it has been, is rewarding. Even though I am only halfway through it...(and may or may not have taken at least 2 days of it off to rest up for a race), I am definitely seeing results. I have seen 3  pounds come off...for a total of 26.(I think...this week has gone up and down a bit...which is a perfectly normal yet extremely irritating monthly thing.) I have lost another inch off of my waist and hips... and 3/4 of an inch off of my thighs just since starting. Thanks to all of those lunges!!!!!!!!! Here are my before and midway pictures.....

While it isn't completely drastic, I can see change in the top pictures in the smaller "love handles" In the bottom pictures is where I see the most change. The "crease" is becoming less and less visible near my back, and my stomach is starting to tighten up...thank you ab circuits! So there is the proof I need to know that this really does work and that I am going to continue with it. And after that, who knows...there is always Ripped in 30 :). I should also add that on top of the 30 Day Shred, I have continued to run, watch what I eat, and lift some weights(not as much as before I started the Shred). Check back at the end of the month for full results...I can't wait!!

This Saturday marked our 3rd 5K in 3 weekends. It was in Concordia, bright and early Saturday morning. Big Brothers Big Sisters put on a Big Color Big Fun Run. At first we weren't sure if it was going to still be going on as it was pouring rain as we were leaving, but as soon as we got there it stopped! Our "team" consisted of my Mom, myself, and my friends Schaefer and Becky. One thing I learned not even a mile into it is that I highly dislike hills. So far I had been running courses that are primarily flat or on the treadmill, so hills definitely were not in my repertoire. Had to stop and walk up a few of the hills to conserve some of my almost non existent energy. did not help a whole lot that my energy levels were already lacking(cue female understanding). All in all...we had a good lots of color on us...and got in some exercise. All for a great cause. And I added a new challenge to my to do list...Conquer Hills. Pictures will soon follow as they are uploaded from Mom's camera!

I believe that I am still on track to having one of the worst hands in the Wellness Center Hold Em challenge...but my main goal is to just complete each weeks challenges. I found a group exercise class that I think I will continue to go to, as I can definitely tell it worked some of my major problem areas. It will definitely be beneficial to keep that up! And as for my Online Challenge, I am our group captain and am ready to get this thing started with our first official day on Wednesday. Time to buckle down!

Sorry if this seemed all over the place! Had to get everything out that was bouncing around in my head and set it all straight! I'll leave you with a cute little story from the other day. Those of you who are friends with my on FB or in the FitCamp group may have heard this already, so bear with me. When I got home the other night from a run and sat down, Lenae instantly put my shoes on and went and opened the front door. I asked her where she thought she was going and without missing a beat she yelled "Running!!" We had to let her run around outside for a little while(all while wearing my big shoes) before she would finally come in. Just further proof that children do as they see. I hope that she sees me doing these runs and really trying to eat the right foods and grows up to do somewhat of the same things someday! She is the main reason for all of this, after all!

Have a great week!

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I refuse to "Diet"

There are 2 very different meanings of the word "Diet."  To get completely technical "Diet" is a term for the sum of food consumed by a living organism or group. "Dieting" is the act of deliberately selecting food to control the body weight or nutrient intake. For as long as I can remember I had been searching and trying every kind of dieting gimic out there. Some would work temporarily, and then when I would start to stray from the particular "dieting" technique, the weight would come back twofold.

I have gotten to the point that I am DONE doing the popular gimics, pills, shakes, and everything else. I refuse to spend anymore money or get my hopes up on something that will not help me in the long term. (I am not bashing anyone who does these. I am simply saying that they do not work for me and sometimes only gives me the quick satisfaction instead of what I am searching for overall). I refuse to adhere to an Atkins, or South Beach, or blah blah blah. It's time to stop dieting and start living healthy and I just plain refuse to keep looking for quick fixes. I needed something to change my mind permanently about how I feel about foods, portions, and creating some eating rules for myself. And for me, that was my health and my family.

I have always considered myself to be somewhat picky. I am not a big fan of many vegetables, I enjoy carbs entirely too much, and have a sweet tooth for chocolate and peanut butter like you wouldn't believe. Basically, if it's really good for you, I'm really not interested. So it will be a matter of retraining my mind on what I consider a "snack" or what I consider "side dishes".(I'm not saying that lately I have been pigging out on anything and everything. I have still been drinking a ton of water, eat at least 1 pretty healthy meal a day, and watch my snacks. But there is a lot of room to improve.) I think in soceity, we see snacks to be things like cookies, ice cream, chips, etc. When in turn we should think carrots, cucumbers, apples, grapes, etc. I need to also think out of the box when fixing meals at home and trying to decide what we will have for side dishes. My arsenal usually includes Mashed Potatoes, corn, pasta salad, chips, bread(for pasta), etc. I have recently within the past couple of months been doing many more salads, green and red peppers, and other veggies. Something that really made me think the other day was when I was fixing Lenae's supper I had steamed some broccoli and she offered me a bite with the sweetest little look on her face. If it was anything other than broccoli I wouldn't have thought twice about accepting her sweet offering. But BROCCOLI?! I usually gag at the smell of it...let alone the taste. Wanting to be healthier version of myself and not wanting to discourage her love of this veggie, I accepted a bite. I smiled the whole way through it. And you know what? The taste really wasn't as bad as I remember it being the last time I tried it. After being pregnant with Lenae, I all of a sudden developed a tolerance for many many foods that I once got sick at the thought of even touching them. Anyways....Children are sponges. They will soak up every single thing that you say, face that you make, and action that you perform. What do you think it would have taught her had I snarled my nose and said "Ew Mommy doesn't like broccoli!"? She would have adopted my same aversion to it, because naturally she wants to do everything that I do. So just a reminder that your love or distaste for a certain food will be passed onto your child eventually, whether through seeing you eat it a lot, or by watching you chow down happily at next weeks meal.

I really have started to cut a LOT of salt out of my diet(there's that word again...but in the right context for me!). I have started to be very conscious of how much or any salt that I put in dishes, or sprinkle on meat, and even the butter that I sometimes use for my toast or baked potato. I really don't eat very many chips, really watching the intake of deli meats with all of the added sodium. In turn...I'm seeing a significant lowering in my BP. I don't feel so lethargic or out of energy. I'm seeing that it really is about the little choices that you make daily, that make the biggest difference in the overall picture.

As for portions, I have mentioned it before that I try to use a child's plate when eating meals. It really does not allow you to put enough food on the plate to overeat, and then by putting the food away before you sit down to eat, you avoid going back for seconds. Just being conscious of how many scoops of that chili you put in a bowl or how many chips that you pull out of that bag can really start to add up and make a difference. If you start eating a little bit less at each meal, your stomach will start to adjust to this newer amount and you will soon start feeling full.

As for new eating rules, the one major one that I HAVE to start making myself do is shutting down my kitchen after 8. Yes Mom, I know you have been telling me this for AGES. I never used to eat after 8 until meeting my husband and moving in together. He was always used to eating before bed, which ended up being 8:30, 9, or sometimes even 10. I quickly fell into this pattern because sometimes he was the one having to cook while I was working or at school, or more recent taking care of Lenae.(She always eats around 6). It's also hard when Shelby is on nights because he takes his "lunch" break around 8:30 so that he can see Lenae right before she goes to bed. Its nice to be able to eat with him, but I know that in order for myself to see more of a change and stay on the right track, I need to do this for me. I did it last night and it really was not that hard. I am guilty of always thinking I need a bedtime snack, so giving that up last night was a little bit of a challenge. I know though that the more I resist, the easier it will be.

I need to start gathering healthier recipes and letting go of old habits. I need to remind myself that this is mind over matter. I have changed MANY of them already(I am not sulking about my weight on the couch anymore, I am incorporating more and more healthy foods daily, I have cut my soda intake from 6 a day down to 1/2 a can). I'd say that's a pretty good start, but now that we are set to begin a weight loss challenge in the group I am in, it's time to buckle down and get serious! And in closing...Instead of choosing to do the "Dieting", I will instead change my "Diet."

On a related note, I am down another 3 lbs and am up to 6 inches lost off my stomach! Holla!! I think this had something to do in part with adding the 30 day shred fully into my days. I do this while the kids first go down for a nap and still have plenty of time to get other things done too. I still do my running on top of this...although these last couple of weeks I haven't been running as much because of the 5K's at the end of each week and not wanting to be overtired for them. We do our 3rd this weekend which will be another "Color Run" only at a smaller scale and not the official ones. Hopefully the weather holds out and it won't be as cold as last weekend!!

Here is our after picture that we got ahold of...

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Monday, October 8, 2012

The Happiest 5K on the Planet all that I can say. Leading up to this weekend I was pretty excited with all of the stories I was hearing about how awesome The Color Run is and how much fun everyone has, but I don't think I realized just how much fun it would really be. My Mom, Dad, sister Jordyn, my husband, and Lenae all packed up and headed out first thing on Saturday morning to Topeka to my Aunt Rita and Uncle Dana's house. Rita and my cousin Amber went and got our packets Friday night to save us some line time(I would strongly encourage anyone to do this as the crowd on Saturday is kind of crazy!). We arrived in Lawrence at about 2, 2 hours before the race. We walked around a bit, taking in the sights and looking at what crazy outfits that other people wore. Let me tell  you, there were some VERY interesting people there that added to the entertainment.

They started to usher people into the "Start Chute" around 3 and began the Pre Race Party which included music, dancing, the Emcee starting chants and telling jokes, and throwing out free Color Run merchandise. While that part was really run, an hour smushed in tight with thousands and thousands of people, some who smelled, who didn't have manners, or were just really really into the music, made it seem like it was a really really long hour. The last 10 minutes seemed to fly by pretty quick though and before we knew it, it was time to lock arms and get started! I say lock arms because we literally had to lock our arms together as to not be separated by the hundreds of people that were let go into the first wave. After about a block we were able to let go and settle into a comfortable jog and reach the first zone of yellow. Now I knew that people said to close your eyes and mouth while going through these color zones, but it's honestly really hard to not laugh or scream when they are throwing powder all over you, so some of that yellow powder ended up in the mouth. It does not taste good. We walked a little after that zone as dodging people gets a little energy consuming at times, and the very cold air made it a little hard to breathe. We picked it back up for the next color zone of orange made it through there...laughing the entire time. We even mananged to see Dr. Maroza's and her husband from here in Beloit taking pictures, so she snapped a couple for us! (We saw them a couple of times throughout the race.) There was a guy however who did not laugh and actually got pretty angry after being hit by some of the color(although he seemed like he was making it out to be a competition). He was screaming every expletive in the book while there were tons of little kids around...very classy. Anyways...we walked a little bit more before the 3rd zone of blue and picked it up right before. I made the mistake of sniffing during the blue zone and yes...everytime I blew my nose for the rest of the day it was blue(TMI? :)) On the way to the last zone, you double back the way you came which lets you run by the people who have just left the orange there were lots of high fives, yelling, laughter, and just plain happiness. The last zone of pink was probably the craziest for me because it seemed to be a little thicker than the other colors, which made it to where I could not see but a foot in front of me, so I was just really hoping that no one had stopped for me to run into!

We were nearing the end of the Run and still laughing from all of the craziness that had taken place throughout. We reached the end, grabbed a water bottle to wash down all of the powder in our mouths, and headed to the festival to participate in the "Color Throw". In your packets you receive a packet of the colored powder that is used in the zones and if you hold on to it til the end, there is an all at once throw. So we hurried to the center of everyone and counted down and then everyone threw there packets into the sky. It was really cool because it felt like you were in a giant game of the parachute throw up, where you all have a handle of a large parachute and while holding onto it, you throw it up. It was a cloak of color for about 2 seconds and then you had to make sure and close your eyes and mouth because it all came raining back down on top of you...drenching you in powdered color. We made our way back to the husbands and Lenae, and once Lenae saw me she just started giggling. I figured she would be a little standoffish and scared...but nope! She was giggling and wanting to touch my face to see what was all over it...I changed shirts really quick before going into the blower stations, as I want to preserve the color on mine, and headed back to the cars. I still had blue coloring all of my face and hair when we stopped to eat at KFC...not the healthiest choice but we were starving and it sounded good...sue us! Shelby, Lenae, and I then proceeded to head to Walmart to grab a pair of sweats for me to sleep in as I left my extra pair that I meant to pack at home. Not to my surprise...only 1 person stared at me. I think that there are more interesting individuals that enter that place on a daily basis. After a quick shower back at my Aunt's, and another face cleaning after my uncle so lovingly pointed out that I missed some :), we had a margarita and headed to bed.

All in was a wonderfully, awesome, colorful time. It really was the Happiest 5K I've ever done :) I would highly recommend The Color Run to ANYONE. Walk, run, crawl...anyone of any age can do it and have a blast. It honestly seemed like it was only a half a mile because it was that much fun. I wanted to do more when we were done. But best of all...I got to spend time and do something fun with my Mom, Sister, Cousin, and Aunt. Couldn't ask for anything better!!! Next weekend my Mom, a couple of friends, and I are doing a "color run" in Concordia that Big Brothers Big Sisters is putting on. Can't Wait!!

Have a great are some pictures of the event!!

 The shirts that my cousin's husband designed!

Getting ready for the Start!

All of us girls together!

People lining up

See? I wasn't lying about interesting costumes(some even wore wedding dresses!)

The Emcee and "Kyle" who threw out the goodies

The amount of people behind us!
How close we were to the front
More waiting....
Amber photobombing her mom...she kept doing this throughout the waiting..and got caught once by someone!

After the first zone!

Approaching the Blue Zone

Some afters and the color throw! Will try to get a better "After" picture when we locate the few that were taken!!
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