While I still do not like the number that stares back at me, it is better than the number 28 lbs ago! I have to be honest with you and myself at the same time...so here it is. My full disclosure....................
I don't want to do it....
But here it is......
Yuck. Okay, again, I reiterate that I am in NO WAY proud of that number. I am in NO WAY happy about how I have let myself get to this number. (That word is how we keep ourselves honest. I give my team a word of the week on Tuesday, and the word must be in the picture they send me Wednesday morning!) Up until now, no one has known my true weight besides my Dr's office and myself. I want you to know how much posting this pains me. I was a whole Buck 25 in high school. I never ever in my wildest dreams thought I could let myself go this much. I was 189 when I got pregnant with my daughter, so I can't blame it all on my pregnancy. What I can blame it on is the emotional eating, comfort in my relationship(not having to impress anymore), and just plain not caring what I put in my mouth. I had a serious wake up call when I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes around my 26th week of pregnancy. I really really learned what foods I should and should not be eating, portion controls, and listening to my body when it tells me I need protein, not sugar, for energy. I did really well at keeping my Blood Sugar down through walking and eating right for the remainder of my pregnancy. I had to still take insulin though, because they were concerned she was still gaining weight too rapidly.
After she was born, I was back to eating crap as the diabetes left my system. In the back of my mind I knew that I had a higher chance of developing Type 2 diabetes, but didn't care enough. I was tired, I had a newborn. Snacks, pop, and take out were the easiest options especially when my husbands was gone on nightshift. After tons of headaches, several bouts of high blood pressure, a couple of scares, and a hospitalization, I was done. It was time to get healthy. You know the rest.
A few positives about this weight...
I have not seen this number since around October or November of 2010.
I have lost 28 lbs to date
I am 2 lbs away from 30 gone
It is a far cry from where I was 6 months ago.
So I will continue to forge on. Look for a special post when I hit that 30 lbs. Progression pictures, a letter to those 30 lbs, and how I plan to lose many, many more!
On another note...I want to say Hi to all of my new followers!! There are lots of you that are new to here and don't know me personally, but I rely on them just as much as I think they rely on me. So in an effort to get to know me better...here are a few things about me...
1. I am a mommy to a beautiful and fiery almost 2 year old. She keeps us on our toes constantly. And I love every single minute.
2. I am a wife to a police officer. He went to school to work in construction, and did for several years. But in an effort to move back to our hometown and provide for me and our future children who would need insurance and job security, he chose to go this route. I do not envy his job and am proud of the Officer he has become. Sure his job is hard on him, me, and our daughter. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like and sometimes he works ungodly hours. We know he could get called out on a moments notice, or that we have to cancel plans we made because something happened and he has to stay for hours past shift change. But I know that what he does matters, that the people he helps really need it, and that while we are his top priority, sometimes we do need to come in second. I am okay with that.
3. I am a daycare provider to some pretty awesome kiddos! And get to spend every day watching my own daughter grow up.
4. Running is my therapy. Lifting weights is my anger management.
5. I come from a VERY large extended family. My mom has 7 siblings, and my dad had 4. So needless to say I have lots of cousins! I have always had built in friends and love my family dearly!
6. My mom has become my best friend through this journey. She has always been there for me, regardless of things I have said or done. If I can be the kind of mother that she was to us, to my own daughter, I will count it as a success. She is also the Best Nana to Lenae. She spoils her rotten and loves her like she's her own. And my dad is, and always will be my Super Hero! He will work from sun up, past sun down and not complain. On his time off he does stuff around the yard, takes care of maintenance issues at the daycare, he's my car mechanic, and my bug killer. He is an amazing Papa to Lenae, and she loves him more than words. And I appreciate everything he does.
7. I have an older brother, 27, and a younger sister, 17. My brother and I had the typical sibling relationship. What I haven't ever told him is that I look up to him very much so and am very proud of the life he has made for himself, and how great of a daddy he is to my nephew. He married a pretty awesome girl too! My sister has been my little tag-along since she was born(I say that with nothing but love Jordyn! :)) I spent every summer hanging out with her and taking her to the pool when she was younger. I cherish those days. She now returns the favor and hangs out with Lenae all the time so that I can go workout or do things I need to do.
8. I am a homebody. When I'm not at the daycare or running, I like to be at home. Either my home or my parents home. I enjoy the time spent cuddling with my daughter and the low amount of drama that is involved. Don't get me wrong...I love to hang out with friends every now and then...because everyone needs that. And when you can find good friends that are just interested in getting to know you and as a bonus, have kids too, you make time! But all in all...when faced with the choice of going out to the bar or staying in and watching a Locked Up marathon? Show me some prison brawls!
Again...thanks for taking the time to read about my life and my struggles with weight!
Here's what we've been fighting at our house the past 2 days. Fever and sore throat...breaks my heart to be away from her.