Tick Tock...

I found this quote and thought, "Wow, what a different outlook to have." For so long I would always think of how much I still have to lose, not how much I have done. Fact is, I am now 22 lbs less than I was 6 months ago. I am running further than I ever have. That workout I am getting in tonight, is one more than yesterday. That is one of the many things that keeps me going.

On to the topic of the impending 5K. We are now T minus 5 days. I have been having a lot of mixed emotions these last couple of weeks about this major milestone, ranging from pure excitement to absolute fear. I am excited about actually accomplishing a long term goal that we have worked SO HARD to achieve. I'm excited about supporting a cause that is so beneficial to so many people. What I have fear about is thinking "Am I going to be able to do this whole thing without stopping? Will the excitement of everything push me too hard in the beginning and not leave me enough to finish? Will I make a complete fool out of myself?" And then I remembered, "I am doing this for ME" I am not doing this for anyone other than myself(except for maybe my family...so that I can annoy them with my presence for many, many more years :)) Why do I care what I look like to anyone else on the sidelines? Why should anyone elses misguided judgement of me, effect how I feel and ultimately perform on Sunday? So my choice is to not let it. I don't care how fast I go, because at the end of the day the saying goes "You still lapped everyone sitting on the couch."

Now onto the miscellaneous issues on my mind about the race....the BIGGEST concern that I am letting myself have is to refine my IPOD playlist. I know, this seems trivial to some. But to many many people who run, music is their lifeline. A month ago I tried to run without my music as I forgot to get a good charge on mine. It did not work. I rely on certain songs to get me through the 1 mile hump that crosses me into that second mile. I will search for the perfect song at that 2.75 mile mark to give me that "Runner's High" and help me to finish. I have a few songs that are my warm up or cool down songs which are somewhat slower and don't carry a running beat. I plan to remove them completely from the list so that I can make sure to have a steady flow of the good stuff! If you haven't tried adding music to your workouts yet...I would encourage you to give it a try. It makes a WORLD of difference!!

Another issue on my mind is keeping my pace. I have a horrible time of doing this outside as I have said before. So tonight, I am going to see if I can nail down my timing on the treadmill and convert it to being outside. Maybe sometime soon I can save up some money and get one of those handy running watches that tracks splits, pace, and distance. Someday....

On non running issues, I have decided to give it another 2 weeks before I will step foot on a scale. I have been extremely discouraged this week because I have gained a pound and am stuck. I however am continuing to lose in the size department. I have stepped up my weight lifting though, so I am trying to remind myself that muscle weighs more than fat. The challenge going on at the Wellness Center has been fun to get my competitive side going so in keeping up with that, I have joined a challenge on an online group. The group stems from the blogger "Mama Laughlin"(who by the way you should also check out. She's hilarious), and they have created a Fitness Group on Facebook that does challenges and moreover has many women that just whole heartedly support complete strangers on their journey to healthiness, for no other reason than to support. I can't wait to get it started!!

Lastly, "Divide a run into 3 different parts. Run the first part with your head, the second part with your personality, and the third part with your heart".

I tried this and it is totally 100% true. It really does work. That first part consists of me playing mind games with myself "Run to .25 mile and maybe you can stop" "Hit that .75 and that is good enough" and just keep going...soon that first mile is done. The second part...I find the craziest, weirdest songs on my list and sing along to them in my head. I people watch. I remember funny things that happened through the day. Basically I distract myself, with myself. That 2 miles is done. And that final mile(the hardest for me) is full of "Come on Joelle. You have not come this far to just stop now. Give it every single ounce of strength that you have. You have gone through way worse than this and came through on the other side. What's another mile?" I remember why I am doing this, I think of that day that I am healthy and ready to think about adding another child to my family, I think about that day my children are grown and can make positive healthy choices, based on what their mommy showed them. And when I look down...that last 1.14 miles is done. And then you look back at that run and think "Man...that run was really easy".... And if all else fails...you can always pretend....

P.s. Here is the link to the fundraising page for the 5K this weekend. If you have anything to give, they would appreciate...as would I! Thank you so much to those that have already donated to this cause!

http://www.ministrysync.com/event/website/?m=1049632 Pin It

A Progression of Pictures: Rollercoaster

Alright...I said I'd do it. Here it is. A progression of pictures from when my weight issues started to where they are now. I'm going to warn you...there are some good pictures...and some pictures that I seriously almost cried at the thought of putting them on and sharing with everyone. But this is about being honest and having to take a good hard look at what I have done to myself. That is the only way that I will make it any better. I did my best at trying to get dates right...

8th Grade. Where it all started.

 This is around Sophomore year. You can tell that I was gaining quite a bit.

These are both from my senior year of high school. This is the second time of losing weight(I had broken up with my boyfriend of 2.5 yrs midway through my Jr. year. Prompting said weight loss). These almost make me cry because I wish I could look like that again :(

This was the day that I moved into the dorms at Kansas State University. Excuse the poor quality of photo...it was scanned. That Hollister shirt was a Medium. I probably couldn't even fit my arm in it now.

The one in the mask was at spring break(I helped out in Louisiana after Katrina) and the other is the summer after my Freshman year. You can tell by my legs and the love handles that I definitely packed on the Freshman 15..and probably more.

This was my Junior year of college. By this point I had gained 30 lbs since entering college. (This is a year after meeting Shelby) Gross hair. Yuck

Ha...attractive...I know. This was at my brother's wedding in June of 2009. I would have looked a whole lot worse if there wasn't such a thing as Spanx.

This was in October of 2009. I had lost a little bit of weight knowing that we would be taking pictures.

I believe this was around Thanksgiving on 2009.

These were on my Wedding day. I'll just say it...because everyone that really knows us, already knows, and anyone who semi knows us has figured out by Lenae's age and our Anniversary. I was just shy of 3 months pregnant at this time. So I was starting to swell.(Water weight, food weight, baby weight)

I got HUGE. Like really big. This was at approximately 7.5 months...I think. So I got even bigger. She was only 6 lbs 8 oz. I had a TON of fluid in that stomach. I do NOT miss that part at all. Blah.

 The Day after giving birth...I don't even care what I look like here...because there is a much more beautiful girl in this picture :)

This is another one that I had a very hard time posting. While my mom takes great pictures and can edit with the best. She can't change the fat. Where's the photoshop tool for that? This is 6 months post baby. Weighing in at almost my heaviest.


And this is my latest side by side progression of weightloss pictures. I have sat here for about 20 minutes now deciding whether or not to put these on because I am still nowhere near where I want to be...but I am doing this to make myself better. It is to show you where I was at, where I have come from, and how far I have yet to go.

                                                                                          

These particular pictures go from left to right and the first is at 5lbs lost, the second is at 10lbs lost, and the third is 22 lbs lost as of this morning.

Not sure why I can't get that first pic in the bottom row to line up and it's really hard to actually see it...but whatever. So there you have it...I think that even with the bad quality of the pics and poor lighting, you can still see that there has been a little bit of a change. Like I said, I am NOT even close to what I want to be at, but at least there is progress.

And on Saturday, Mom and I ran the entire 3.14 miles without stopping. Outside. Big big big accomplishment as I have never done this. Sure I've done it on a treadmill where I can conserve energy by going the same speed and not have to endure any obstacles like potholes, train tracks, and running across the street quickly to avoid a car. But we did it...and 2 weeks before the actual run, I can say I'm ready! Never thought I would be!!

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10 Commandments of Weightloss

As I was doing some early morning perusing of pinterest before the kiddos started showing up...I found this. In no way am I implying that these are as comparable to the real 10 Commandments, BUT they are still very very very important. Why not treat our health and body with the  respect and dedication that it so badly deserves? There are some people in life that just need a set of rules to provide boundaries for them. I am one of those people.

There are some things that I can fly by the seat of my pants, but there are many things that I like to have set rules, times, and boundaries on. I am a control freak. When I get an idea in my head...it needs to happen now, which is probably why I had Lenae's room done and ready 3 months before she was born. Don't laugh, sometimes it comes in handy, especially when I was in and out of the hospital and bedrest for those last couple of months. With this new(I think it will always be new to me) sense of healthiness, I have been trying to find or make myself a set of clearly defined rules to stick by but just haven't found anything yet that covers it all. Until this. It almost feels like someone took over my brain long enough to put these down on paper. It has my sense of needing to be healthy, but also not depriving yourself of things from time to time. I'm going to break down each one and apply it to my life, that way I can make a clear definition of how to implement these in my day to day.

#1: Lifestyle, not a Diet. Eating healthy(er) and exercising isn't something to be done for a month, expect quick results, not get any, and give up. It's not some gimic or magic pill to spend a bunch of hard earned money on, that makes big promises and leaves you without the results. Trust me...I have been there about 100 times before. I get bored easily and move on. I think after running my own business and settling into this Mom thing, I have started to crave structure and well thought out plans in my at home life too. That's where making this a lifestyle fits in, if I sit down and plan out my workouts a month at a time, it allows me to make them a priority. Second to my family of course. But if things come up on the side, or when planning other appointments, I work around my workouts. Make them a set part of your normal day to day, instead of an added extra.

#2 Structure your life, and you will structure your eating. I am a big believer in this. 2 weeks ago I sat down and mapped out a calendar of our family life. It includes Menus, Shelby's shifts at work, appts or trainings, and when bills are due. I am surprised at how well we have stuck to it. For quite awhile we were just eating frozen food, or I would cook a big pot of spaghetti or something else that Shelby would eat for a week. Before you think that I am a horrible wife for doing that...he has been doing that for years and years and sometimes prefers to eat it for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. I will never understand some of the things he eats and how he doesn't get sick. As for Lenae...she always had something pretty healthy like leftovers from the daycare or once a week a Lil Graduate meal. But now with the calendar, we have actually sat down to decently healthy homemade dinners 7 times in the last 2 weeks. I also keep a bag of frozen chicken breast and various fresh veggies in the daycare fridge at all times so that I already have something there and won't be tempted to eat junk.

#3 Eat small. The other day I posted a picture of my lunch on a child sized plate. That is how I control my portions. It's a simple little change that can make a world of difference!

#4 Learn to leave food on your plate. Whether it be a bite of chicken or half of a big dinner from a restaurant, it is still food that is left on your plate that required your willpower to keep from eating it. It's crazy how by doing this only a couple of times can actually build up your control of overeating in the future. I will definitely be doing more of this!

#5 Never feel deprived. Ever decided to try a week without chocolate? Or even a day without chocolate? How did that next day go? Did you eat every piece of chocolate in sight? I have done that several times before. What this commandment is all about is giving into those urges, every once in a while, and go about it smartly. For some reason the past couple of months I have been all about chocolate and peanut butter. I just happened to be window shopping the freezer section at the grocery store and ran across a box of Blue Bunny Peanut Butter Panic Ice Cream. It opened the door and picked up and put down that box so many times, knowing that if I bought it I would likely down the whole box in 2 nights. BUT I just so happened to find that exact same kind in those little Personals container...you know the kind that only has like 2 scoops in it. So I bought 2 and ate them on separate nights. I was satisfied with that one serving and did not overdo it. Win, Win

#6 Make a Meal out of it. This one could be a little challenging. But if you're gonna eat a plain chicken breast and peppers as a side...pretend it is the best darn piece of chicken and gourmet meal you have ever eaten. Thank yourself for making it...or if your significant other made it, give them praises. It will make you both feel good.

#7 Eat Slowly. It's a proven fact that if you chew something more, you will feel fuller faster. How about that illiteration? Take an extra few bites of that hamburger, chicken, or something else chew it until you can't chew it anymore. What's the rush?

#8 Enjoy your food. Food shouldn't be used as a punishment. You punish yourself for years of eating too much of the wrong stuff. Instead reward it now by giving it the good stuff it needs. Find alternate, healthier ways to make your favorite dish and enjoy the heck out of it. Try new recipes that look good...you might add a new favorite to your rotation. Whenever we grill steaks, I enjoy every single little bite of it. Each bite of that smaller baked potato was savored...not just shoveled into my mouth.

#9 Move it. Go exercise. Get out there and walk/run/bike/swim/play basketball/whatever get's you off the couch and on your feet. I can't explain the feeling I get when return home from a long run. It's that feeling of "I just got a darn good workout in and feel like I could conquer the world" Seriously...it's that amazing. I keep hearing the saying "You will never regret getting in a workout. You will only regret the workout you didn't do." That says it perfectly.

#10 Get enough sleep. This one has always been hard for me. I don't go to sleep easily. I am one that thinks about anything and everything before I falls asleep. Yesterday's happenings, today's mistakes, tomorrow's tasks. I can't shut it off. Throw this in with a teething toddler and a husband who is physically incapable of using an ounce of effort to be quiet when he wakes up at the crack of dawn. But...this past week has been better. I have been going in to bed at least an hour before I normally do. It's amazing how much more energy I have from that extra hour of sleep. You won't be sorry you did this.

There it is. My new set of rules to live by. I am going to print the picture out and put it next to my bathroom mirror...that way I am reminded everyday.  

p.s....this weekend I am going to work on a chronological order of photos that shows the cycles of weight gain and loss that I have gone through. It's not going to be pretty :(

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Training Plan...

This is my plan for the month of September leading up to both 5K's. Lots and lots of work! I'm still doing almost the normal amount the week before...only taking the 2 days off before because it seems that if I take more than 2 off, I lose a good mile off my endurance. Train, Train, Train!!!

Disclaimer: This is just a rough plan...we all know that life happens and gets in the way... :) Pin It

Confessions of a Running Mommy....

"Confession of errors is like a broom which sweeps away the dirt and leaves the surface brighter and clearer. I feel stronger for confession. " Mahatma Gandhi

Now Gandhi was always a pretty smart man, so in the spirit of feeling a little stronger....

Confession #1: My will power ran out and I reunited with my Diet Pepsi. Grr...I could make excuses and blame all day(Ie: My husband keeps buying it, or Lenae has not been sleeping well at night and I need the extra energy boost). But it's plain and simple that I gave in and drank it.

What I am proud of myself for though is that I am no where near to drinking what I used to. 1 a day will suffice me, and even then I have a hard time drinking an entire 12 oz can.

Confession #2: I did not get very many runs in over the last 2 weeks. This is not good, considering the 5K is coming up in a couple of weekends. It's a lot harder to go when Shelby is on dayshift and doesn't get home until around 630 or 7 at night, and he was supposed to be the one to watch her. Or everyone else is busy..and yes this may sound like a broken record as I posted about it before, but it's true and it happens.

What I am proud of myself for though is that even with the Diet Pepsi debacle and not running as much, and lets face it, I was nowhere near 100% with my healthy eating choices, I did not gain weight. I was terrified to step on that scale for 2 weeks....I'll tell you what stared back at me on that scale a little bit later.

Confession #3: I much prefer running on a treadmill than outside. I know that it is very opposite to what many others feel, but man I need to get over that...and fast. Mom and I took it outside on Saturday morning(she mapped out a course), and while the weather was perfect(my mood was not), I had a very hard time even making it a half a mile. I ALWAYS overdo it that first 1/2 mile when I can't regulate my speed to where I know I am comfortable. I had to stop and walk 4 times(I am NOT proud of that) for a minute at a time during the mock 5K.

What I am proud of myself for though is that even with those segments of walking, I still made it under any time I have ever pulled out on the treadmill. So that satisfies me in knowing that this week when I run the whole mock 5K over again, and not stop, it could be a personal best! I am also proud that the very next day, I went back on the treadmill and did another full 5K, stopping for only 30 sec to catch my breath. (Remember that I only ran a couple of times in 2 weeks? That always sets me back quite a bit)

Confession #4: I made a big no-no when it came to mixing medicines(which is part of the reason that I skipped a couple of runs) I kept getting really tired and having horrible, horrible headaches for a majority of the day, on top of my horrendous allergies. I tried running 2 times and failed to even make it a mile before I felt like my chest was going to explode. Turns out, I didn't realize that you aren't suppose to mix Decongestants with Blood Pressure medicines. Whoops! It shot my blood pressure up, and essentially deactivated my BP meds. So after consulting with the doctor(which is what I should have done first!) I am now on some prescription allergy meds that will not interfere! I am now feeling 100% better.

What I am proud of myself for...actually there is nothing there that I should be proud of. Seriously...check with your doctors first before doing anything that dumb!

And finally Confession #5: I am HUMAN. Seriously. I can't be perfect, nor will I ever try to be. You take all of this in stride, look for the positives in it, and move on. Dwelling in how horrible these last 2 weeks has been or wondering how much more weight I could have lost had I not sunk into this rut, will do absolutely no good...for anyone.

BUT... Even after all of these low points, and putting my scale back behind my bathroom door to hide it for 2 weeks, I finally gave in and stepped back on it Saturday. It read...okay I'm still not going to tell you how much it reads(even though I am starting to become more comfortable with that number) I will tell you that in those 2 weeks of countless mistakes, I still managed to lose 5 lbs. Putting my total weightloss at 22 lbs. I couldn't believe it and you would have laughed at me with how many times I stepped on and off trying to see if it would change. I thought "Okay, it must be broken. I'll weigh myself on the scale at the gym tomorrow and compare." Well, different scale, same exact reading. While I didn't jump for joy..I beamed with accomplishment for all of the rest of yesterday. It has only sparked me to eat that much better, run that much harder, lift that much more, and drink that much more water for this week at least :) I'm taking one week at a time.

The Heart Choices 5K is coming up in just 20 days. I plan on sitting down tonight and mapping out my workouts from now until then, as I really don't want to overdo it that week before, but need to get in as much training as possible before then. And then can't even explain how excited I am that we are doing the Color Run in Lawerence on October 6th. Mom and I are doing it with her Twin sister Rita and my cousin Amber. I think it will be awesome to do a crazy, fun one like that after completeing our first the week before. Can't wait!!

As for the pictures that I promised...I will try to get some uploaded in the next couple of days, to this computer. They are not the best quality...and not really sure how good of a progression they will show.

Hope you have had a good Monday! :) Here's a few little pics of what life has been like the past couple of weeks...and a picture of what I am eating...as we speak!

This is somewhat of a normal lunch that I eat. 4 out of 5 days I will boil a chicken breast and then for a side will have either a salad, carrots, or green and red peppers. Today I was needing a little crunch...so I threw in a few pretzels. What I have found that works best for me is to use a child sized plate. That way I can't pile things on, and the smaller plate gives the illusion that I have the same portion as a bigger plate :) It's all about tricking your brain!

She has now decided that she has a preference on what she wants to watch and apparently it wasn't what mommy and daddy had on. We had watched Mickey earlier in the morning in the bedroom so it was still set to the channel. She turned the tv on and I came to find her like this. Stinker!

She also has a major obsession with Mickey and Minnie Mouse and my mom indulged her with this talking Minnie Mouse doll. Because she sleeps with her, I am now woken up at several points through the night from hearing on the monitor "Oh my! What are we going to do today?!" or "I love to giggle with you!" Thanks Mom! Pin It